Gettin' Swizz-Faced

Dearest Darling Readers,
That's right bitches, I got job. It's such an amazing and mentally stimulating experience...for a frozen yogurt store that is. Yeah I got this job in a really weird way through a friend and e-mail and blahs IT'S COMPLICATED but I've got it! Yay! It's really sad, I've become such a horrible workaholic since the summer started which was like a week ago but what-ever. It's called Swizzles and it's on the Post Road in Darien Connecticut. If you ever stop by and the checkout girl is exceedingly attractive chances are it's not me har har. It's this self serve joint and at first I was so hooked on the idea because I'd never been to a place like it before until I found out that there are only A MILLION places just like it. I feel so lied to! Sometimes it's really scary how into my job I get. Like whenever I'm closing, I always get stuck with mopping. Now that place has the shittiest floor because you can see ALL the crap that's been spilt through-out the day. It's really gross and takes forever to mop. I've got it down to routine though, good quality time with Toby. how sad is this, our owner seemed to have spent all the money he got for the place on everything BUT things we need like, say a GOOD MOP. He went and fished the grundgeist, most decrepit mop you ever did see. I call him Toby, Toby the mop. He reminds me a lot like a cranky old man. Like when he was in his prime he was a damn good mop but at this point he's pretty much given up and just resents that I make him clean the floor. Sometimes it's like "God damn it Toby! Why did you scratch the table?! I can't clean that and it's clearly visible!" and he'll retort with a "Well if you didn't sling me about so clumsily maybe it wouldn't have happened! You young folks and your crazy maneuvers!" He can be kind of an asshole but he's still my good friend, we have bonded. That doesn't stop me from fantasizing about drying him out for good and setting him on fire. I've often thought the best solution would be for Toby to mysteriously go missing one day and I'd secretly donate him to a funeral home or something. A fitting end to such a cranky old mop. But then I get further and think that if I DID do that A) I would feel to guilty for giving them the WORST mop in the world or B) They would refused to let me get buried one day for giving them the shittiest mop in the world. I think too much. That my friends is where my mind goes during the mind numbing chore of mopping.

P.S. I have a deviant-art now because I draw comics about our group of friends including the rest of the-awesomes. Check it out HERE: http://fluentinmeh.deviantart.com/

Franks for reading!